Change is good, when you're open to it.

11:11 PM Monday, March 23, 2009

Hi Everyone!

Say hi to SOCKS!

It's really really adorable and slept with me yesterday night, snuggling beside me under the warm warm blankie.

But I had to eventually put it in the toilet cos it was moving all around the bed.

Hawhaw!

I hope brownie, my other cat gets use to him soon!

I love em both!

Oh and not forgetting my sayang either.

Hehehe.

1:27 AM

Of the beauty of love.

I truly have not much luck looking for people to bunk in with this sem.

I think this is my third time kena reject lah.

Oh wells!

Well that's the bad news and the good news is that my parents will be renting a house in Admiralty, i think. Err, They just keep changing their minds lah. Will be moving on the 11th/12th April which is just a few days before my 1st paper, which is on the 15th. At least I'm not gonna commute from JB to Singapore.

Had my run with dear just now and I can say that I'm so weak!

After not running for sooo long. Hahaha! We ran less than 1.6km, i think.

After which we just strolled back home.

Hawhaw.

Another week up! One week less to my exams.

Mugging fever please bug me!

Okay, not literally please.

Hawhaw.

Okay!

Enough Haws, back to my Principles Of Genetics lecture!

Yes I know....... BORING!

10:44 PM Wednesday, March 18, 2009

you call them family.

It's quite sad when you suddenly feel awkward with people whom you usually love to be around during family gatherings and everything.

Seriously, I am sick of my family politics.

Thanks to this certain person in my family.

I have totally lost respect in that GUY.

If you were ever in my position, you'd understand how I feel.

No, the reason why one day I'd like to shift overseas is not cos of my mum.

My mum advices me to go overseas.

It's cos of all these family poilitics.

I study hard, I build my future.

I get a boyfriend and what you all think is that,

I'M WASTED and THAT HAVING ONE HAS DESTROYED ME.

My life works in a different way from you.

There's why there is diversity in this universe.

It's alright, I have nothing to prove to you.

Cos you've already proved to people how worthy you are.

Please, if you want to show the world how "holy" you are or how "good" you are,

just don't disturb my life, my nuclear family.

I don't freaking care what you want to do with your life.

Just don't disturb my MUM, my DAD, my SISTERS, my BOYFRIEND and me.

1:54 AM Saturday, March 14, 2009

what a bad week.

To sum off the week so far, it has been pretty awful.

This was really one of those weeks where anything you do, just screws your week up even more.

Some people have been there to hear me out, namely Aishah who has been listening to my woes every single day, whether I'm online or in school with her. I think she can see how worn down I am. Qila & Faz consoled me too, thanks dears.

I really appreciate it a lot.

I do feel a little better now.

I'm still "homeless" for that 2 months.

I'll be alright.

My family will be alright, we'll figure a way out.

Think I'll find some work then if i manage to and save some money for the next school term.

Gotta be more independent now, you know.

Haha.

Perhaps my parents are still for the idea of renting a house in JB.

I'm still not sure.

If i can't find a job then perhaps, if my parents rent a house in JB, i'll be mostly there.

I hope next week will be a better week.

Have a good week ahead everyone. :)

2:43 AM Thursday, March 12, 2009

I don't know just how you do it.

Sometimes I don't know to explain certain things to people.

Like say, people can try to talk me out of certain things.

But when it comes down right to you, they just can't.

No matter what they say about you, they just can't.

I feel just so.. complete.

And my parents are worried that I am too attached to you.

That we are too emotionally attached.

Cos they fear that things won't work out between us.

I know my parents love me.

And are just trying to protect me from being hurt by people.

They will always remind me that I am only new to love.

That everything appears lovely cos we're just newly in love.

And that when marriage life kicks in, things will appear different.

That all the nasty things will appear.

I understand that my parents are just trying to protect me.

I know that very well.

But.... How do I phrase this?

What I know is that even though Ari and I have our ups and downs,

he makes me feel happy.

I'm sure as parents, you'd want your daughter to be happy right?

Hurt is just part of life which we will always have to deal with.

If we are forever cautious in life, when will we ever be happy?

Fate is determined by God, but effort must be put in by us.

It doesn't mean that I'm not married to Ari, that I should not put in effort into the relationship with him right?

If I'm not gonna be serious with him, then why would I want to date him right?

I love my parents, I love my family, I love Ari too.

He's just a big part of me as you all are.

Doesn't mean I love him, there's lesser love for my family in my heart.

In fact it just means that i've made more room in my heart to love him.

But the space that's for my family, will always be there for them.

1:09 PM Monday, March 09, 2009

This new path?

I think the only time that I blog these days is when I feel troubled or just need to get something off my chest.

Therefore, my blog sounds like I'm having troubles every single day, which is not true. Haha.

At this point of time though, I think I'm going through a really tough time.

Just had my second rejection. Still having headaches about school, I'm thinking about jumping from "here to there", thinking about where the hell i'm gonna stay during exams and I've got some stuffs that I have to settle with regards to myself too.

Sometimes, some things just happen and WHAM!
You realize the reality of how things are.
It's not exactly all bad, but it's not entirely good either.
And I can't describe to you how I am feeling inside.
I can't even decipher it myself.

But you know what, this time round, I will figure it out myself.
After all, no matter how people tell you that you aren't alone in this world.
Yeah right.
In the end, it will still come down to you, you and you.
Just you, alone.

Nope, I don't need any consoling.
It'll just soften me up.
I've been too soft already.
I need my shell back.

12:36 AM Sunday, March 08, 2009

No no to facebook with your mum on it.

I think parents and facebook just don't mix.

Ahh. What the hell, SPOIL MY MOOD!

1:57 PM Wednesday, March 04, 2009

when the ink spoils the milk.

Sometimes I don't get it.

I know that as a human being, to be forgiving is one of the things that you should learn.

But let's say.. how about a murderer?

Would you forgive a murderer for his act?

Would you say that the person should be given a second chance?

Would that be ethical?

I'm just feeling a bit bothered now.

But I believe that everybody has their own free will to choose to have ties with someone or not.

It just bothers me, cos I feel a sense of hypocrisy in what they are doing.

How can you still idolize someone, or let's not say idolize, but how can you lick back your own spit?

The person in the first place, while trying to save his ass, comes up with 1 million excuses which includes roping people in into his own shit hole.

I mean, family or not, won't you feel a sense of anger in you, or at least disappointment?

Seriously, I have my own principles.

When someone does that to you, it just shows that the person only cares for himself.

The only important person to him is himself.

His life. His money. His world. His say.

Fine, if i meet you, i will acknowledge you.

But that's as far as my principles will bring me to do.

Respect has to be gained.

Not just cos you are older, you can do anything and we'll still have to respect you.

You reap what you sow.

So I don't believe that the rest should be like this.

It's just making his head BIGGER.

Do the right thing.

We are all adults now.

I can't talk you out of it.

Cos you'll think that I'm just prejudiced.

We have our own minds right?

Well, I've spoken my mind now.

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