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5:52 AM Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Raya in the midst.
Alhamdullilah this year, I'm able to almost complete my one month of fast.
And I hope I make it through today.
My body's like gonna give up on me.

Last day of waking up for pre dawn meal.
Last day of fasting.
I feel sad.

But I guess, at the same time, glad for the day of celebration too.

Right now waiting for 6.30am.
Won't allow myself to sleep cos I know if I do, I'll fall into deeeeep slumber.

I have 10 pages worth of Chinese Dictation to go through later.
God, help me!
Today will be a long day for me.
I have tuition in the evening.
Second last tuition session with my dear student, Amalina.
And then... I wish her luck in her PSLE journey.
:)

I know by the end of today, i will be dead beat.
Reach home at 8 plus, will have to clean up the mess at home and I think I'll only be able to sleep past 2.
Lol, hari raya eve tradition i guess.

K!

Off to go practice some chinese characters.

Till then! :)


11:41 PM Thursday, September 25, 2008
Being 19.
19.

The early hours of being 19 wasn't really fine. I just felt old.
Woke up to do housework and look around for shops online which have good apparel deals.
Apparently, not many. Haha!

Two days before my birthday, managed to meet up with the S19 people. It was a really great meet up and they surprised the September Babies with presents and a really delicious cake!
Weisiang, who as ah-beng-ish as he looks, treated the people who are having their shen ri! So unexpected but it's sweet.

I got cotton on tops from S19 and a necklace with a guitar pendant on it. I love them all!
Thanks S19 for the wonderful day.
We shall have ice cream on day together! :)






One day before my birthday, I met up with dear. At first I thought we wouldn't meet up cos dear wasn't really in the right mood. He's been having some bad stuff at work, and it's really really really bad. But dear felt a little better after we talked about it the night before and so I met dear and we went to Harbourfront for break fast! :)

Food wasn't that nice but I guess having my dear's company is more important. My birthday dinner with dear was a little quiet, though. Dear gave me my birthday present beforehand already. Which is a MUFC jersey! So pleasantly surprised by it that I wore it on the day itself. Haha! Dear also treated me to a massage and well, it was pretty good. I almost fell asleep while the lady was massaging me. Haha!

Thank you dear!

So on my birthday itself, I would never have guessed what was in store for me.
It's the best present ever.
Having to celebrate my birthday with my beloved family and also my other half.

There was supposed to be a family gathering at my aunt's place at Woodlands and so, I made my way there with my sister. It was too bad that Ri couldn't follow, cos there were lotsa food and there's KFC! Haha. I smsed dear, saying that there's lots of food here and that I wished that he was at my aunt's place to break fast with me instead of him being at work

After prayers, I was just playing the piano with my cousin when suddenly...... my cousin said that there's someone looking for me at the door.
and TADA!!!
My dearest beloved Muhammad Zahari was there with my birthday cake.
I was like " YOU! YOU! YOU LIED TO ME?!!!"
Haha. I swear it was hilarious.

My aunt and grandma were laughing at me.
Apparently, they've been planning this for well over a month.
And it was no coincidence that the family gathering just happened to be on my birthday.
And that my sayang actually took leave to spend my birthday with me!
I feel so... LOVED!

Best part of all was that my birthday cake was made by dear.
It's a brownie birthday cake.
So we heated it up and then ate it with ice cream.
And now!
I will gain weight after losing at least 2 kg.
Haha!

But it's all worth it.
My parents weren't really there for the celebration cos my mum had to go for appointment with her client.
Last year, my beloved also planned a surprise for me with my parents and my aunts also knew.

I'm feeling so happy right now!
Being with my family and love on my birthday.
I couldn't ask for more.
I'm a happy 19-year old.
(after today, i'm back to being 16 okay. haha!)

So....
My conclusion is.
Being 19 is not bad at all.
I can't thank my friends, family and love enough.

Here's a large thanks to those who dropped me a birthday wish, be it on friendster, msn, sms or facebook.

(Miss Lim, Yue Yun, Shannon, Sharon, Si Jie, Tammy, Lay Hoon, Christina, Fatin, Ahmad, Shahrul, Zarifi, Weichao, Faradee, Fana, Far, Qila, Ika, Kavee, Yueh-Hsin, Tovia, Quratu`ain, My dear student Amalina, Muzz, Yana all the way from AUS, Jun, Rudy, Mike, Li yun, Aisyah, Haneez, Wani, Erika, Alicia, Gerald, Jules all the way from AUS, My cousins, My family, My love.)


Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Simply touched







Too bad birthday girl now has to go back to reading all those lecture notes and books!
Haha!

Once again, many many many thanks to all!
Till then.




12:45 AM Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tonight....
Tonight will be quiet...................


Thanks S19 for the birthday surprise! I'm really touched. Will upload the photos to facebook and update here when my birthday comes!

And then,

Tonight will be a quiet night still.


1:49 AM Tuesday, September 23, 2008
ANGRY!
I can't sleep now. I just finished Book 4 of the Twilight Series.
Quite an interesting read, romantic, and nerve-wrecking at times.
A different read from Neil Gaiman.... but I guess Neil Gaiman's novels are much more absurd than that of in Twilight.
Twilight as compared to American Gods is subtle.
Nonetheless, it's a romantic piece, with a happily ever after ending.
And truly a happily ever after ending for they are immortal and well, they don't die?
Hah.

I'm really worried now.
I think it's not fair that things had to turn out this way.
It's not your fault, AT ALL!
It's just so frustrating! So AH!
How can someone not weigh the consequences of his actions on himself and on other people!
It's not fair at all!
How can you be so selfish??
AH!

I'm so angry at you, even when i don't know you, you @*#^@&#*^#@&^#!!!!!!

I only want to be with you now, to comfort you.
How i wished I could protect you from all this.
I love you.















10:02 PM Monday, September 22, 2008
God please protect him.
I'm so worried for dear now. Something's gone wrong at camp. The moment I hear his voice, I'll be fine again. Right now, nothing can calm my nerves. I'm gonna have a sleepless night.

Please, I don't need a birthday disaster. Oh Allah, protect Ri from any danger that he has to face, any problem that he has to deal with.

I could possibly divert my attention with BS101 and BS102. I hope I can concentrate. I'll wait for your call dear.


11:56 PM Friday, September 19, 2008
Let it be, let it be.

I guess my parents are really worried about my eldest sister. The person whom my sister intends to settle down with is err...... not exactly how they picture their son-in-law would be?

At this point, i've no idea how i feel towards this. I can understand part of the pain my sister's going through. She has yet to introduce him to dad, afraid that he would just pounce on the guy.

My mum and dad has been babbling about it the whole evening. I guess my sister has to convince my parents. She's coming 26 next year, perhaps she's gotten her call to settle down.

Unfortunately, while they were babbling, they mentioned about me and ri too. They expect a lot out of me i must say. Very pressurising indeed. As it is, school hasn't been the easiest thing to deal with. So the added pressure just doesn't really help at this point. Not at all.

Sometimes I'd wish they would trust and understand me more. If I tell you what my plans are, you'd tell me i'm crazy. They should trust me. I couldn't agree less that studies is very important. It's the key, to my future career. But i'm more than just someone who would lose interest in studying so easily. I'm much more than that. And I know myself better than to just quit halfway.

Perhaps I can't have the best of both worlds now? But I think being happy is important too.
No, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying that i'm not happy now. It's just that..... nevermind. I think i'll just leave it be. I don't want to mention it again. I don't want to think too much that it'll ruin everything. I'd wish things would go my way but I guess it's just not as easy as that. I won't bring it up anymore.

Well, let's just look at the bright side of things now. Recess week is here! :) And tomorrow I'm going out to meet dear and a few friends for dinner. Well, recess week or not, one thing that I can't avoid is the load of revision and tutorials that has to be completed.

Oh, and did i tell you that Twilight is quite nice to read? Haha. I am so addicted to it. I can not sleep cos I'm too eager to know what goes on in Bella's life. I guess it's not that easy for her either? Bella's and Edward's romance story is just so..... bittersweet. Haha, like any other vampire-human love story i guess.

Well, must get going now!

And Ais! I'll miss you during this one week break!!! :) Get down on revision k? I hope i do too! Like really, i gotta get my butt working during this break. haha!

Till then,
have a good recess week all!


10:53 PM Sunday, September 14, 2008
.................
Dear Allah,

Please grant me strength to pull through every single challenge in my life.
Please Allah, Please.


12:19 AM
please?

These days you sound quite stressed over work and it scares me at times cos you get really really really serious.


Sometimes I don't know whether to comfort you or to let you be.

Sorry dear..........:(


5:49 PM Thursday, September 11, 2008
another cycle of work.

It's already thursday, 11th day of fasting month.
How fast time passes by us.
Two more weeks, another year older. I feel so old. :S

Sometimes, we look back at everything that we've gone through for the past 19 years.
Some pleasant and some... just not so pleasant.
I hated my childhood, for it was so gloomy and even the mere thought of it is painful to me.
But I don't blame anyone for whatever i've gone through, it's helped me through other bad days in life.

I'm not emo, don't worry.
In fact, quite happy that the weekend is coming near......
even though there's a fresh batch of tutorials to be done.
I think situation in school now's better. More adapted but still struggling quite a fair bit as there's A LOT to revise, i tell you.

Ais said that at the rate in which we are going now, we'd just graduate in the blink of an eye.
4 years, how it'll feel so long when we think of it in one way, can feel so short when we need time to work for us.

I wonder, how would 4 years feel to someone who can't see?
Or how would 4 years feel if I had to study abroad?
Only god knows.

Till then,
Have a great weekend!







3:24 AM
i want...
I want to go holiday.
I want to go travelling.
I want to go Australia, New Zealand, France, Switzerland, Rome, Venice, Italy... Europe!
I want to see the world.

One day.
God willing.
With you.


3:52 AM Saturday, September 06, 2008
My mackie and my baby!
After a year, I listened again to the CDs dear gave to me when he was sorta trying to tell me how he felt for me. I came across this song and was quite surprised that it was on the CDs. I guess i missed out quite a lot when i didn't re-listen to the songs again! Sorry love, Happy 15th!

Every time spent with you makes me happy. :) One day hopefully we can start our own book of travels and even maybe settle down overseas! Who knows? Haha! God willing.

So i finally got my mackie! Awesome just like what dear said it is! Can't wait to try experimenting more with it! Haha!

I'm off for sahur!

Till then!
Lot's of loooooovvvvveeeeee.


11:40 PM Wednesday, September 03, 2008
growing stronger together.
Hello everyone!

Sorry if i've been feeling so down lately. I didn't really notice it. That's pretty scary. Come to think of it, I've been quite reserved lately and pretty much isolating myself. Maybe adapting to school life has been taking a toll on me. But I guess things have been picking up a little. I feel tired, no doubt but I guess it doesn't feel so foreign to me anymore.

Anyhow though, I still look forward to Friday cos it's the end of the week and cos I'll be meeting dear. Guess that's the only day that I'll be able to meet him for this week cos of the clashes in our schedule but it's a-okay cos there will be other times to meet him, insyallah. :)

I hope tomorrow I'll be able to collect my Mackey! Guess i'll have to rush from North-spine to South-spine to collect it. haha!

I think lately I've only been ranting about school. Truth is I haven't been going out much either! Aside from family gatherings and all, I haven't been anywhere much. Haven't been going to the movies, haven't been to window shop..... :S I feel so adventure-deprived. I haven't been watching tv much either!! What a mundane life I have, well i hope it's only for now.

Term Break in 2 weeks! Dear, let's go watch movie please. I want to go jalan-jalan! Grrlfrens, let's meet up for break-fast okay? My term break's during 22-29th September! Haha.

I really need to add some life into my life. Wahahahahahahahaha. How weird. Update soon!

Till then.


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