11:07 PM
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Living up to expectations.
The past weekend has been so tiring for me. I hope my parents understand if i do not wish to participate in family activities cos I seriously need my weekends to finish all my tutorials. Yesterday's trip to Malaysia was terrible. My sister and I lost our passports there cos it accidentally dropped off one of the side pockets in the car. And so I reached home at 6 am in the morning. I already told her that I didn't want to follow the night before but knowing her, she'd probably try to persuade me into going. So not wanting to put up a fuss/start an argument, i just followed.
Sometimes I think my parents don't appreciate me. Or maybe that's just how I feel.
Lately I've been complaining that I feel tired. Especially after teaching tuition, where I would go home feeling like a zombie. Less than 2 months and I'll have only the brother & sister to teach. Just have to tahan and help my PSLE tutees right now.
Fact is, I do feel really tired. Even if it's on a short day at school. My lessons, on the average, end at around 5.30pm. I know I'm not the only one who ends lessons this late. I think they're those that end later. I just need my parents to give me my own time to adapt to uni life. They seem to expect me to fit in into uni life easily, of which i'm not able to right now.
My sister thinks being in uni and all is pure fun. It's fun, but it's not pure fun. It's hard, getting used to all this is hard. Parents compare you too. My sis thinks it's hard being compared to me. And she thinks that I don't get compared. My mum always wants to compare me with my mum's friend's daughter, who has graduated and is earning a satisfactory income. They keep saying that she's so cool, that she's this that, this that.
Sometimes my mum and I are at loggerheads. She just has her set of ideologies, while I have my own. I still love her, just that I'd prefer to do things my own way. My mum, being my mum, wouldn't really hear of that. And that pisses me off at times. ( quite frequently though :S )
On the other hand, I'm trying my best. Really trying to keep up with lectures and tutorials. Not trying to get so worked up and just relax a bit. Fasting months coming soon, so i guess that'll give me a chance to save up on $$. Next month i'm turning a year older too. Looking at the brighter side of things, I now can partially escape housework and well, my mum's starting to cook dinners quite frequently. Guess sometimes, mum does give me my fair share of liberty. and I certainly hope, she doesn't feel that I'm abusing it.
Till then, Have a great week ahead.
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