Change is good, when you're open to it.

12:48 AM Thursday, October 26, 2006

hari raya.

kini syawal menjelang,

sedih hatiku meninggalkan bulan suci ramadhan.

sayu hatiku mendengar takbir di malam raya,

belum tentu aku akan hidup untuk melihat ramadhan di tahun hadapan.

insyallah...

First and 2nd day of Hari Raya, OVER! Time passes super fast. This year, there was so much drama. I managed to wake up early for solat aidilfitri with mum and dad. Am glad! :) Can say that im tired, but for all the love and the joy of syawal, i`d gladly say that im happy. Everyone was present at Nyai's house on the first day of raya, including pok teh who changed his mind in the eleventh hour and return home to Singapore with Syahirah and Aunt Fei. That show white of mind has totally grown and she's SUPERBLY PRETTAY! I miss her olready.

my snow white ( present )

my snow white ( then )

Yea! we are family!

the clan of cousins and the granpas and grandma.
the makciks & pakciks.

Zila came back for raya too. I can't say more to her. But i seriously do want her to change. For the benefit of everyone, including her. We used to share a lot. And we are close, maybe a little bit distant but somewhere in her, i know if she tries, she can do it. Its not about the enjoyment now Zila. Its about the enjoyment later, when you grow up to be successful, distinguished individuals and start your journey as a carrier woman or maybe something else. I've tried to reach you already. I have no idea how i am supposed to reach you anymore. At all. You want people to understand you, but its a two way street. You have to give and take. Life's not all about lepak-ing or staying out late. Its about your principles, your virtues, your family, your religion. Friends are only a minute part of your life as compared to your family. Please do think of what's best for you in the future rather than for the present which will turn into PAST in a blink of an eye and change TODAY.

people change for the better.

yes, they do.

those who don't are not bad.

they are just

STUBBORN

and

IGNORANT.

It's all about the forgiving and reflections and establishing tighter bonds between family members. I've decided to take a step forward this year. Im going to meet my father. Somehow or another, i have to face it. Even if he chooses to avoid me, im looking for him to seek forgiveness, not to go asking for money from him. I have to stay firm and look for him even if it means that it is hard. I have to. He is my father after all and i have to acknowlegde him in my life.

On the brigther side though....

Today, had OGL interview! I swear it was crap-a-doodle-doo lah! haiyo. But the interview was way easier than AJC's interview. Thank god for that. Ahah. Results out tmr. Wish me all the best. Tralala. I shall head to bed.

Nitey nites.

it doesn't matter who i am.

it doesn't matter what i do.

it doesn't matter at all.

im sick of being stepped on.

im sick of being played.

im sick of it all.

i used to be hurt.

i used to indulge in self-pity.

i used to do that all.

BUT

now it ain't the same.

with or without you,

life goes on.

much love,

ME.

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